Blimey. That was a WEEK. Now, in my head I said that in the same tone people say “well…2016..that was..a YEAR”, I think we all know what I mean.
Now in the spirit of the of my resolution of 2017 Number 62 it’s time for some promotion of the importance of self-care. I have spoken about this before in the post a bit of me time where I highlight how important it is to make time for yourself on a regular basis. What made me realise this this week was that tragically, stress can have a very real, physical effect on your body, even though typically lots of people think it’s mental as it’s linked to how your feeling…
But as my doctor reminded me this week “chemicals released from your glands drive the way you are feeling; these chemicals also control the processes in your body”. In short many people don’t realise that if you refuse to listen to what you body needs (physically and mentally) then your body will make you listen.
And bloody hell this week my body made me know it was suffering.
I got taken the doctors last Wednesday with the symptoms of a racing heart, tight and tense airway, chest pains and tingling in my hands, lips and feet. That’s Right! I had a panic attack! and as my doctor explained to me (he honestly reminded me of a fashion assistant as he was literally in a headset in the waiting room) my body was releasing crazy amounts of adrenaline as my mind was in ‘flight or fight mode’. However, failing to use up this chemical can create some pretty negative side effects…
Now this continued for the next few days also, but with some help from my wonderfully supportive parents it’s seemed to have been kept at bay, but the real reason behind this post is in order to bring these problems into the light.
Seems to me, that even though we are in 2017, and today I exercised my strong independent women mind-set and broke the way too hard expectation that boys have to ask the girl to the prom… YES! I asked him *insert gasps*. We can still be dangerously coy and tiptoe around the subject of mental health. To be clear, I’m definitely not saying that because I’ve struggling with this problem this week that I am expert about anxiety issues, as I’m very aware there are far more inspirational people out there than me who have been battling their whole lives. But what I am offering is the reassurance that this is a thing than can affect anyone, anywhere. A single mother in her twenties, a 65-year-old man, a nine-year-old at school, Anyone. Sometimes for no particular reason.
But most importantly it is not a sign of weakness, or something to ashamed of. It’s simply an indication of your body being exhausted for too long, whether that’s dealing with emotions, stress or other general experiences. This is to help break down the stigma that far too many people feel in this situation. The stigma that they can’t talk to people about it in fear of being alienated or considered strange/ indifferent.
So, next time perhaps, if you are a person who can relate to this post, instead of sitting there in silence at the back of a classroom sweating and pouring all your will power into being able to take the next breath, don’t worry about letting people see you are drowning. People will help you, but can only do so if you give them the chance. And if you are the person who can’t relate to this feeling but reading this post anyway, you are extra specially important. If you are one of these wonderful gem of a persons who people naturally can turn to in these moments of need, you have obviously had the privilege of being brought up very caringly. None the less, I pray that even if you don’t think you are one of these people, that you try to be. Because you simply never know when you might be the person in need and suddenly are panicking and scanning a crowd for that one face that can help.
I am admitting that I have flaws and do not expect people to be brave in every aspect of their lives, I myself, strive to be brave. For example, I share my experience of this with the world and with my family and friends thus offering support, and perhaps one day ,when I find that face in the crowd, I’ll be brave enough to take another step and lift the veil on who I am.
But for now I will be SortingThrough. The girl with far too many secrets, experiences and identities for a lifetime. The girl who sees forgiveness in a smile, redemption in sunrise and potential in a look back over the shoulder. I may not stand out from that crowd, and I am just another person with a life. A life that has the potential to help others declutter all the shit. But at least I’ve been brave enough to try.
xXx STTS xXx
This is the NHS’s list of charities/organisations to help people who are suffering with any mental disorder so if you are suffering with serious issues you can find someone to talk to.