Hey guys, this ones more on the touchy feely side ; lets talk about ‘fitting in’.
Two words that are easy to terrify and frankly make many cringe when being faced with new tasks, environments and people. As they say ‘there’s no shame, we are all the same’ so let’s get real and say that many people don’t find ‘fitting in’ easy and that actually this tormenting phrase means loads of different things to millions of different people, so lets get down and dirty with this peculiar notion of ‘fitting in’ but also stepping out.
Now to start off with, have no illusions! if you glance around you, you may think that everyone else is seamlessly slipping into their perfect place in life, may this be friend groups (socially), with a new school (environment) or new tasks and jobs. This is not true. look underneath and many may be sparklingly confident and oozing with ease, but many are also confused about what to do and act and feel. This is totally normal and totally ok. Trust me, many a night I’ve lain awake thinking that if I hold out long enough I’ll hear whatever bloody calling I’m meant to have heard….as it were. So let’s chat..
Now an easy loop-hole to fall into is being worried and anxious about messing up If you attempt to try to talk to new people in order to perhaps make new friends. I know this is hard but being honest about who you are and what your personality is is the fastest and easiest way to find people who are not only like you but adore your existence! No matter how crazy , creepy and utterly fucked up you are, there is someone out there who can match it and you will be thick as thieves in no time. So be honest from the start is the best way to find those amazing people who reflect your gorgeous self. This is also important as then you by-pass the reoccurring problem of getting all the shit of being in the wrong friend group and feeling trapped, and then maybe, in extreme cases, feel like you have to do/say things you’re not comfortable with doing in order to try and fit in. THIS IS NOT RIGHT, darlings if you take away one thing from this post or even me, is to never settle for anything less than what you deserve. This is a big problem however as this does happen to a lot of people who are perfectly gorgeous and amazing In their own way. Everyone has something amazing about them and if you can’t see that , you’re hanging out with the wrong kind of people. so…
RULE ONE Be honest with who you are
RULE TWO Never change who you are in order to fit in
So, emotions now. The hardest bit about getting to fit in is the first big steps. Something that may sound so easy, like talking to someone new, can actually be painfully awkward and scary to another person. My advice here is try your hardest to do whatever you can to make you happy, so, in this case,maybe overcoming a perfectly rational fear about talking to new people will in the long-term make you happier with the friends you have made. Gently pushing out your comfort zone can be beneficial, however jumping miles outside it can do more harm than good, so be careful angels. Remember you have to make every second of your life count as millions of precious seconds flutter away everyday. So I would say to make your time count.
RULE THREE Do what it takes to make you happy
But finally, my biggest point is stepping out. Everyone can get so absorbed in being normal and fitting in they forget to fill their life to the full and don’t be afraid to step outside the box and be a leader compared to a sheep. Every single one of us is unique, individual and special and what may be big for one may be small to another and vice versa, so as long as you’re being you and happy, and every single one of you is being productive to make your lives the best they can be! and when you think about it like that.. the trivial idea of ‘fitting in’ is as simple as being who you want yourself to be. As finding a place to fit is so much harder if you don’t fit with yourself at the start.
RULE FOUR love yourselves unconditionally
Hope this helped some of you see things maybe a bit differently? or that you aren’t alone, or for you to know a bit more about me
xXx STTS xXx